Gaston Song Lyrics

Gosh, it disturbs me to see you, Gaston
Looking so down in the dumps
Every guy here'd love to be you, Gaston
Even when taking your lumps
There's no man in town as admired as you
You're everyone's favorite guy
Everyone's awed and inspired by you
And it's not very hard to see why

No one's slick as Gaston
No one's quick as Gaston
No one's neck's as incredibly thick as Gaston
For there's no man in town half as manly
(Perfect, a pure paragon!)
You can ask any Tom, Dick, or Stanley
And they'll tell you whose team they prefer to be on

Who plays (darts like Gaston?)
Who breaks (hearts like Gaston?)
Who's much more than the sum of his parts like Gaston?
As a specimen, yes, I'm intimidating